Winter

There's something about winter on the island, its like time stops, in a good way.  I find myself much more aware of the season when I'm closer to nature.  In the city you look out the window to decide what to wear, what the road conditions will be like for the day and that's seems to be about it for thinking about the weather.  On the island I am so aware of what month, the amount of light, the plant life and what's going on with the trees etc. 
Years ago when I was grieving deeply I found the island such a comfort especially in winter, it mirrored my mood but also gave me a sense of the transient nature of life, something that we are in denial about most of the time.  Right after the funeral we went up to Tofino for a few days and there especially I truly felt in communion with nature, life and death, especially the precariousness of life and how we must life each day as if it were our last.  I'm really ready to do that now...sometimes my worry about the future especially financially (now that I'm near retirement age) gets in the way of that.  I must not let it.  Too many times I have seen people who put off what they really want until they can afford it and miss out on right now and then its too late.  Something happens and everything changes.  The balance between living in the now and being practical about plans....that is the issue. 
I've recently decided to tap into retirement savings to move forward with our plans of moving....I just can't wait any more.  It feels right even though my financial advisor won't agree with me.  Once we're settled in our new home, I just know that opportunities will open up because we're happier and living the life we want to be living.  It just makes sense.  It wasn't the way we planned it but things changed and now it seems more urgent. 
That sense of urgency seems to be trying to tell me something.  I have to listen and go with my gut on this one.  I have this crazy confidence that it is the right thing to do.  Our new life is waiting.

Taking Charge

Just read an article in the Globe and Mail about managing your own investments and how the financial advisors usually have their own or their institutions interests uppermost in their minds while dealing with their customers.  Makes sense.  I have already opened up a brokerage account and managed some of my money and I really like it.  The rest is managed by an advisor at my credit union.  It has done quite well but I really like having control over my money and I don't understand some of the funds in my managed account. It's all based on trust.  It makes me wonder about whether I should put all my money into my brokerage account.  Mmmmmm.
Plans have excelerated due to circumstances.  We must move into our unfinished house due to employment issues so we will probably be doing so in the new year sometime.  A little scary but it feels so right, only one set of bills to pay! Yay!  Living in construction is no fun but it beats getting behind every month.  It's time to live within our means.  We will finally have enough to live the life we want to live.  I'm so looking forward to that.  Funny how you have a plan then suddenly something changes and you have to go with a new plan.
Last time we were on our island I had my eyes more open to the feeling of what it will be like to live there full time.  I noticed all the people with cottage industries that bring in some extra money and how people don't shop for entertainment generally.  The focus is on friends, going for walks on the beach, hikes, volunteering and participating in island activities that are usually not too expensive.  I have a feeling that we are going to be very happy there.

balance

I've been thinking so much, as all of us have lately, about the people of Japan and what they are going through.  More than ever before I'm convinced that living as much in the now as possible is the only way to live.  Life can be over in a moment, you have to be able to leave this world feeling that you've lived the way you wanted to live.  When I watch the tv coverage of the events I am struck, as many people were, at how the people of Japan are handling the crisis.  They are caring for each other and helping out calming and with determination as well as grieving the loss, a combination of moving forward while acknowledging what happened.  During a time of crisis we see the values of a culture, obviously Japanese culture has a strong value of caring for each other and creating order so that life can remain as stable as possible.  This is just my perception, I have not spent time there.  I am in awe of their strength and courage through this.  We can learn a lot.  Instead of turning on each other and taking advantage of the situation (ie: looting and violence) they help each other out.  It makes me realize how crazy our North American culture has become.  We've lost some very important values that out ancestors had.  I think this very thing is what this blog is all about, trying to create some kind of beauty in my existance while dealing with the realities of everyday life.  We can get lost in one or the other, it's all about balance.  I really hope people will take away from this a sense of reassessing the things in life that really matter and maybe make some changes in the way they live their lives.  I know I will.

winter

Boy I've found this winter difficult.  Don't know why but its been hard slogging through my days.  I also haven't been good at making a point of amusing myself as much as I usually do.  We haven't been going to restaurants much or over to our island as much as usual, I think this has contributed.  Late in winter I always notice my concentration starts to go too, like I need a different kind of stimulation.  My usual winter movie watching and favourite tv shows are not holding my interest.  Must remember this for next year.  Been thinking with the Canadian dollar so high I should go to the US and buy some groceries.  We live so close and its fun to see all the different things you can buy.  My favourite isTrader Joe's .  There is one close to the border in Bellingham but I actually haven't been to that one yet.  I've gone to the one in Seattle and marveled at the cool stuff and cheap too.  I bought french triple milled soap for about 3 buck, usually that stuff is 7-10.  Hard to believe but true.  Lots of cool interesting food too.  If you stay long enough they have wine that people call two buck chuck, some kind of inexpensive red wine for those non-special occasions.  Anyway I may even do that today.  It's rainy and I don't have to work.  Just have to make sure I have health insurance before I go, don't want any crazy medical bills right now.  
Have been watching that British show 'The Islands of Britain'  hosted by Martin Clunes, its on Knowledge Network here in BC.  It's confirmed everything I've started to believe about islands.  They are full of interesting people.  I wonder why that is.  There's such a great pride and sense of identity that they have from living on their particular island.  It's a great show and amazing to see how some people have managed to make do with what they have, be so resourceful in making a living for themselves.  I now understand more what draws me.  I want that in my life too.  That sense of purpose and belonging.  I've lived in so many places since my early 20's that I've never had that and in the city, although there's much I love about it, I haven't really felt a part of it.  I guess I'm finally looking for a place I can really call home and feel connected to.   I do already really feel connected to the west coast even though I was raised on the east coast.  Funny how that happens.  When I first lived in Alaska it happened, I instantly loved it, the mountains, the free spirit of the people, the ocean ....all of it. So now its just finding the right community.  I've found it and I'm on my way but sometimes I get impatient.  Especially in winter.  
Anyway, I think I'm going to run off to the US for the day.  I'll post what my adventure brings.

Supplies

Just spent the weekend on the island and ran into a couple of people who reminded me that when you live there full time there are times when you want to make a dish and don't have that essential ingredient and there's no one on the island who carries it.  Our island is pretty damn good but there are limits.  I'm always thinking of a service that I could turn into a business once I live there so it got me thinking.  Shopping in the city for foodies on the island.  What a great idea.  Wonder if it could work.  I already go back and forth regularly, I already haunt the foodie stores as much as I can, I'd love to be able to buy more than I already do.  Something to think about.
I've realized that like so many rural places, the island if full of amazing people who either have a pension or some kind of income because employment is sparse...a lot of people find a way through their own brand of creativity.  There are many art galleries in homes, cottage industries like coffee roasting, web design, photography and so on that bring in extra income.  Islands seem to attract people who choose lifestyle over career ambitions so they use their brains to create their own jobs.  I've always admired that.  Self-employment at a job that is something you love anyway.  A dream for most of us.  I have some time to make this happen but the wheels are turning.  I'd like to not have to come to the city every week for work if I can help it.
Years ago I read Marsha Sinetar's ' Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow'.  It was such a great book and now I think it is considered a classic in career counselling circles along with other similar books.  I strongly believe in this concept.  When you are working in a job which is sort of out of your element, you don't really do your best work because your heart isn't in it.  There are lots of people who do this for job security and a good solid income but they are sacrificing something.  If it's a job you really hate, you are risking your physical and emotional health as well as your time.  You hear about people having some kind of wakeup call only to discover their life has passed them by while they were busy finding security or what they thought was security.  How sad.  Hopefully the security is worth it.  But often it ends up that you spend money on entertainment and vacations to make up for the misery at work which leads to more need for the steady paycheck and on it goes.  Locked in. 
Wouldn't it be better to find a job that pays that you love and live within your means.  A lot easier said than done in our consumer oriented world.  I've been really working on this in my own life.  Blogs like Get Rich Slowly are sort of about this balance.  JD was in a lot of debt and in a job he hated when he had his wakeup call.  Now he manages his money very well, on a budget and blogs for a living.  It took a lot of research and hard work for him to get to this very enviable place but you know, once you put your mind to something, it's amazing what you can achieve.  His wife on the other hand, always managed her money well, is a natural saver and loves her job.  Some people manage to get it right the first time.  Noooo, not me,  I tend to be a person who learns through trial and error.  Nothing wrong with that but I am a bit in awe of those who seem to be born with the knowledge of how to live well.  They can teach us a lot.  On the other hand, as JD has said in his blog, he can't believe he is actually seen as some kind of expert in financial circles these days (and he certainly is!) since he has made many many financial mistakes.  But I think that's exactly why people listen to him, he doesn't preach from a place of knowing it all or righteousness, he writes about his own mistakes and what he learned and we don't feel as ashamed of ourselves for the ways we screwed up.  Advise is much easier to take from someone like that. 
Anyway, I'm still thinking about my own island entrepreneur ideas. 

Cooking

What a blessing it is to love to cook.  These days with our focus on construction costs we are not going out as often as we used to.  Our favourite places to go out were always the great inexpensive ethnically diverse places that we are so lucky to have here in our city.  It is literally the best food for the buck especially compared to the polished trendy restaurants that are fun to go to, granted, but the food is overpriced as far as I'm concerned.  When you like to cook as we do, it had better be good for us to pay $100 + for a meal.  Many times we have been so disappointed in a much hyped restaurant that was just average.  If we had lots of money for eating out we wouldn't mind but when we know how to cook well ourselves and our priorities these days are all about the house on the island, it just isn't worth it.   Lately financially its been really tight so we are cooking at home almost exclusively and surprise surprise we have become so much more creative in our shopping and cooking.  It cost almost nothing to keep a fresh supply of herbs on hand,  cilantro, parsley, mint, basil and so on and when you have fresh herbs in the fridge almost any dish is enhanced incredibly. 
On the weekend I often watch the cooking channel to get ideas or my favourite food blog.  This weekend I made moussaka which I have never made before.  There used to be a restaurant nearby that had terrific moussaka but it changed hands and it is not nearly as good anymore so I gave it a try after watching a show where they followed a greek chef around while he cooked.  My own version was just wonderful, if I do say so.  It really has been a while since I tried something that I have never made before. 
Once you cook a lot at home you find that first of all you always have great leftovers (a la my wonderful frugal grandmother) and you have all the stuff around to whip almost anything without leaving the house.  I find these days that we always have prawns, some kind of white fish, and ground meat in the freezer so when we get vegetables and herbs once a week we can make almost anything.  We kind of go by what we feel like rather than planning too far ahead.  Planning ahead works for a lot of people but not us, we seem to go day by day and see what our imagination brings. 
The pleasures of a simple life, it just gets better all the time. 

Peace and Plenty

" The money.....it's all gone!"
Sarah Ban Breathnach from 'Peace and Plenty'

I'm still in shock.  Just picked up Sarah Ban Breathnach's new book Peace and Plenty and found out all her money is gone, she's starting over.  I still can't believe it.  Her book Simple Abundance published in 1995 was a favourite of almost every woman that I knew at that time.  Obviously we weren't the only ones, it was at the top of the New York Times best sellers list for over 5 months, she made millions from sales.  Not to mention that the whole topic of the book was abundance, enjoying what you have and how to encourage more of what you want into your life.   I loved it and read it when I was going through my divorce, it really helped me focus on what was important and less on what I had lost which was considerable at the time.  How does a person lose millions of dollar?  Apparently this happens all the time.  As Sarah says now herself, she knew how to create abundance, she just didn't know how to keep it.
It seems that it was a combination of allowing someone else to manage her money without knowing what was going on (her ex-husband) and spending like there's no tomorrow.  It's hard to imagine how an ordinary person who was used to just getting by could spend that much money.  Makes you think.
Managing money, keeping your money, staying grounded when you have a windfall or even just some success must be a hard thing to do.  I don't know, my life has been sort of ordinary in that way, working hard for what I have but no large amounts of money at once.  I'd like to think I could handle it but lots of people who have experienced this have said its not easy, particularly when it's public knowledge.  I guess relatives come out of the woodwork and lots of financial 'experts' turn up to help you take care of your wealth.  What would I do?
Go to my credit union I think and then a vacation to think about it.  Then get the advice of someone who knows about windfalls.  There must be someone who knows about this stuff.  Then I could write a book about it.  Ha.  Maybe just small windfall...and no one knew... yeah, that would be just right.   No harm in dreaming.  I haven't finished Sarah's book yet but it seems that she still hasn't lost her zest for life, I'm sure she'll be fine.  Wiser in fact.

Happiness

"For the people of Arhus (Denmark), she said, the keys are small-town friendliness and ready access to nature......The Danish path to happiness , after all, isn't about aspiring to scale peaks but rather about the satisfaction that comes from living at a high plateau.  It's about thriving in an environment that nudges them away from superficial pleasures and toward lasting - and sometimes counterintuitive- activities that bring lasting happiness."
Dan Buettner from 'Thrive.  Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way.'

February!  The winter blues.  This time of year really gets to me and I know it gets to most people.  The quote above was from a book featured on Oprah last week.  This time of year lots of people talk about happiness and the explosion of happiness research which has taught us a lot I think.  It's so interesting to have the research confirm what we mostly already know, that money doesn't make us happy, commuting makes us unhappy, not having enough money makes us unhappy but having lots doesn't make us happier and so on.  It's so interesting to read about what happy people have in common.  The bottom line seems to be social connection and proximity to nature.  That's certainly true for me.  That is one of the main reason behind our decision to go to the island.  A small community and nature right outside the front door.  I feel the change as soon as I arrive.  I hear the birds, hear the wind in the trees, we walk on the beach and watch the ocean waves...I am immediately aware that we are small beings on a big earth and that we aren't here for that long really.  That thought helps me feel more grounded in the decisions I  make as opposed to superficial concerns like career aspirations or material wealth.  Somehow its so much easier there to stay focused on what really matters...time with loved ones, helping each other, just enjoying life and other living things.  Being at one with the earth. 
I discovered this about my own experience while I lived in Alaska.  I have lived in many places which gives me the distinct advantage of comparing how I function in varied environments.  Inexplicably I was immediately happy in Alaska.  I figured it out over the years I spent there.  First of all, friendly people.  I loved the Alaskan people.  The first week we were there a neighbour came over and invited us to a street barbeque, no need to bring anything, someone had just caught a salmon so just come on over.  We met almost all our neighbours that day and they were very happy people.  Even in the middle of winter, they were out skiing and hiking, it didn't slow them down.  We had get togethers and had such a great time.  Then there were those mountains that we could see from our window everyday and the weather that reminded us that we are so powerless and insignificant compared to the power of nature.  It instilled an awe and respect for the earth I have never lost since.  I realized that I have to have this in my life from now on and I have.  It's why I chose the west coast of Canada as a final, maybe, place to live out my life.  Winters are much easier here but the nature is just as awesome.  Best of both worlds. 
That's what we all need to do...figure out what makes us happy, we are all unique that way, each of us has a list of what inexplicably brings up that happy feeling in us, we must pay attention to what our feelings are telling us.  There's a valuable message there, a guide to finding our bliss.

Freedom

'Pain can be your ticket to the most extraordinary life you ever imagined–  if you focus on all of the pain caused by your failure to act, your failure to go for it, your fear of failing–  if you focus on that pain and amplify it and wallow in it, and hold on to it and strengthen it every day.' Hobopoet

I stumbled on the webpage of a guy by the name of Hobopoet who changed his life to suit his values.  As he says, people who just can't cope with wageslavery are not as common as you would think (or maybe they don't know they have a choice).  He has had many jobs but found he was not living the life he really wanted, traveling, a high level of fitness, and lots of freedom to do what he chooses each day.  So he developed a website to teach english, really worked hard to promote it and also maintains his blog on his topic of living the life of personal choice.
I really am amazed at people like this, the drive for freedom is so strong that they just do it.  I, on the other hand, thought I'd better just do what is expected and get on with it.  I so admire people who know who they are early in life and just find a lifestyle that is soul nurturing.  I so wish I had done the same thing but as for many of us I found myself in a life that was soul crushing but didn't really know how to get out of it.  It's not easy to extricate yourself once you're in it. 


Freedom to do what your soul yearns for is not easy.  This guy had to work very hard to develop an income that gave him the life he wanted but as he says he was doing work when he wanted, where he wanted and had such great motivation with his goal in mind.  As he says, he used his pain.  Love it.


I'm not exactly as far along as he is, maybe never will be, but I'm certainly on the way.  I have discovered that people who live on islands are generally of this sort of people, I wonder why.  They even joke about 'island time' which means no one worries, it will get done eventually.  So unlike the city folks.  So it looks like the island life is my way of creating my soul nourishing existance.  Wish me luck.  Reading his blog and others like it that I will share with you, are giving me strength on my journey. 

YMOYL

'The bottom line is that we think we work to pay the bills - but we spend more than we make on more than we need, which sends us back to work to get the money to spend to get more stuff to.....'
From Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez


This is just one of the gems from this amazing book, sometimes known as YMOYL by the many followers.  It literally changed my life.  Not because it said something I had never thought of before but because it perfectly articulated the reasons for my years of questioning what was expected of me and what was considered a normal successful life.  As I mentioned in yesterdays post I sometimes wondered if I was just not accepting the way life is, in other words I thought sometimes that it was just me not adapting well to things. Now I know that I was just one of many who questioned the status quo.  Not to be overdramatic but in the words of Martin Luther King:


"...there are certain things in our nation and in the world which I am proud to be maladjusted and which I hope all men of good-will will be maladjusted until the good societies realize."


He was talking about something of much bigger significance though wasn't he.  On the other hand maybe not. Although he was speaking about something as horrific as enslaving a race of people and the devastating effects of that, wasn't it the drive for money and achievement that fueled slavery in the first place.  If society valued our human existence on a deeper level, lived with reverence for the earth and each other instead of worshiping things and money, slavery would never have existed. 
This is deep shi*t!
Seriously, this personal unrest and my subsequent reading about other happily maladjusted people has led me to change my life considerably.  I'm on the journey anyway.  I'm in my 50's so I got a late start.  When I gave this book to a friend who is  my age and had just gone through a divorce (and made a lot of the same mistakes as I did living the way she thought was 'normal'), she said she cried.  It brought up the pain of realizing that her own instincts were right the whole time and she didn't listen.  I know the feeling.  A lot of times the people closest to you while meaning well, encourage you to just go along with it, the consumer life.  Thank goodness we are now 'out of the closet' and speaking up, quality of life is too important.
I look around at some of the young people in our city and elsewhere who have rejected the notion of climbing the ladder of success and I admire them so much.  They seem to live with respect for the environment, spend quality time with friends and family, reject the notion of a career advancement as a life goal and scale down their lifestyle so they can live this way on a modest salary.  We should all be learning from them.  They have witnessed first hand the effects of parents who are too busy to spend time with them, the divorces that result from all the stress.  They work in organic food stores, are musicians or artists.  They rent and don't own a car. 
The small blessings of a simple life.  It's time.

office space

Bob Slydell: If you would, would you walk us through a typical day for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons:  Well, I generally come in at least 15 minutes late, ah, I use the side door-that way Lumberg can't see me, heh- after that I sort of space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: D'uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working.  I do that for probably about another hour and after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real actual work.
Bob Slydell:  I'd like to move us right to Peter Gibbons.  We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
-from the movie 'Office Space' 1999

When I watched the movie Office Space back when it was fairly new, just out at the video rentals, I laughed my head off.  I recommended it to several friends and they said 'that was the stupidest movie I ever saw'.  I couldn't figure out why the big discrepancy in opinions but I was vindicated several years later when I discovered that the movie had become a cult classic.  Then I figured it out, it was a spot-on commentary of the hopelessness and disillusionment that many young people find in todays workplace.  I realized that I have always felt that way myself, whenever I was in a job that seemed to just shuffle papers etc (I've worked for the federal government....say no more) I had this horrible existential crisis everyday that I was wasting my life.  I looked around and other people didn't seem quite so bothered even though they agreed to a certain extent.  I was even told once that I had a 'bad attitude' about work.  I thought about that and wasn't sure if they were right or wrong. Do I?  I remember envying a guy I worked with who remained as a casual employee, kept expenses low and ran off to ski or have an adventure when work was short.  My money went for the house that was too expensive and a lifestyle I didn't even want (that's a whole other blog). I thought that this guy knows something about himself that I haven't quite accepted in myself.
I was fortunate to have had the opportunity to go back to school to pursue a graduate degree and found out that I totally enjoyed working my butt off, received several comments from professors about the quality of my work and got straight A's.  A first for me, believe me.  I know what the motivation was......to *NEVER* have to work in a meaningless job ever again.  I learned my lesson.  I now do have so much more flexibility, watch my money more than I ever used to.  I have actually taken that whole experience and done lots of reading and research about work/life balance issues, turns out I was just one of many many people who struggled with this.  I have also discovered that rather than having a bad attitude, I and many others just value every minute of life too much to do that to themselves.  Life is too short!!  I now contribute much more to society with my present job and actually enjoy everything about it.  We need to talk more about this. 
One of my favourite websites along these lines is:  http://www.soulshelter.com/
I'm taking a deep breath of gratitude right now that I am no longer in cubicle hell (smiling).

the beginning

" It is the simple things in life that make living worthwhile, the sweet fundamental things such as love and duty, work and rest, and living close to nature."  Laura Ingalls Wilder

Welcome.  I've been feeling the urge to document our journey ever since I discovered that so many people were interested in what we (me and my husband) were doing. Our plan is to move  out of the big city and move to our precious island off the west coast of Canada within a couple of years to make our lives simpler, more about nature and quiet walks than the business of everyday life in the city.So many people asked about progress and wanted pictures that I realized there was something going on here.  I think we've touched on our collective need to recreate ourselves and live a dream, maybe our curiousity about if others can really achieve what we all want to do but maybe can't for practical reasons.   When we started this plan the interest was huge among our friends and colleagues.  It seems we tapped into everyone's secret dream of running off, getting away from all the craziness of traffic, jobs, stress, consumerism and making our lives about long walks on the beach, hikes in the mountains, a less is more kind of existence where there is more home time and less work time, the kind of life where soul is more important than money. 
It's no coincidence that this all began with a death in the family, there's nothing like death to shake us into reality and make us look at our lives, to question our existence and to remind us that our time on earth is limited.  We thought about what we wanted in life, how we wanted to spend the rest of our time in this world.  Thank goodness we are both into the pace of life that we envision, it would be impossible if both weren't on the same page. 
A couple of years after our loved one passed on, we took the leap and bought a simple island property, one that could be used for weekends while we planned the escape.  Turned out to be a good thing, even though it stretched us to the limit at the time ( even beyond that!) property values increased dramatically and we soon realized that we wouldn't have been able to do this if we hadn't acted when we did.  A bit of serendipity. 
So now... here we are still in the city, working and living life, running off every second weekend or so to enjoy island life and slowly renovating the cabin so it becomes a house we can live in full time.  My initial impatience has been replaced with a sense of gratitude of having the best of both worlds.  All the advantages of city life as well as the experience of peace and tranquility on our island.  This blog will be about the transition and lots of other things that are coming to the forefront of my life ie:  retirement planning, financial stuff, island/rural living and most importantly work/life balance because I think that's what interested people about our actions more than anything...that we are all questioning our values about how we are living our lives.  Are we living the life we really want to be living...noone gets out of here alive!
Welcome to my journey.