The City Again!

Back in the city again, staying with a friend as usual and getting ready to go to the office to work.  One thing I do like about being at her place is the orderly environment, there's no construction here!  Have to say I really need that every now and then, nothing to do but write or do whatever I want.  Just focus on life.  Imagine that!  So looking forward to it, but I have to remember to enjoy the process, everyone tells me that, including my father who built a summer house when he was in his 70's.  He's an inspiration as he did a lot of it himself in spite of not being a trained carpenter. 
The one thing I do enjoy about the city/country lifestyle that I have right now is the extreme contrast brings me the benefits of both.  For instance, tonight (city) we are going out for sushi, to a new place that everyone says is fantastic and inexpensive AND is two blocks away from my friends apartment.  Contrast that with yesterday (island), went for a long walk in the woods, kept the woodstove going, finished putting spruce boughs, that were blown down in the wind, around the house for christmas decorations, took some pictures on the beach and worked some more at painting the window in my new office.  Small panes on an restored window, not an easy tasks but looks great now.  Right now I'm hearing buses and traffic go by on her very busy central street in Vancouver, at night we hear sirens, yelling etc but I'm used to it having lived in the city for so many years.  Last night on the island the wind was whooshing through the trees all night, a wonderful sound but we do worry sometimes about a tree falling on our house.  Does happen. 
The best of both worlds would be to have some kind of lofty apartment in the city to crash to work or to play and live mainly on the island.  A good dream but not a possiblilty right now financially.  We have to work hard and focus on our island house and finish it.  One thing at a time.  OK to dream though isn't it?
I feel very fortunate to have the life I have.  Sometimes I deal with guilt arising from feeling that I'm not working hard enough, or making enough money.  This comes from my upbringing and the North American culture we live in.  I have had the advantage of living in Europe for 4 years and having travelled a lot in my life so I am very aware of how many people put life first, work next.  I still deal with guilt when I am not producing enough.  Funny isn't it.  The irony is that if I worked harder,  our place would be done faster and would be nicer maybe, but I would not have time to enjoy it as much.  I'd be tied to the schedule of 9-5 and be stressed about workplace politics.  I work on contract now, so I make my schedule, come and go as I please with some limitations but as long as I'm doing my job well my bosses don't bother me.  I could do this forever, I think I might actually. 
Interesting to ponder the differences in the city lifestyle vs the island lifestyle.  Both are great in their own way, it just comes down to what 'fits' for you.  So far I'm liking having both. 

Hope

Sunday

Sitting by the woodstove, cat curled up beside me enjoying that I don't have to work tomorrow.  I do have to go into the city on Tuesday to work but it is glorious to have Monday to do more of what I want to do.  Spent the weekend on ....guess what....renovations!!!!  My partner PJ is a carpenter, thank the lord, otherwise we would not be doing this.  He works so hard during the week and then more on the weekend, he's such a good man. 
This whole thing about moving to the island was his idea, he has strong connections to this island and has for many, many years so when we got together and decided to buy a place, he of course wanted to buy here.  I, on the other hand, was not entirely convinced as I am not from this coast, as I mentioned I am from the east coast, so I wanted to look around a little first.  So we began our assignment by going to many wonderful places (Northern Vancouver Island, the Sunshine coast of BC) to look for a place to buy that wasn't too expensive and offered an environment where we thought we would like to settle.  Both of us kept coming back to the gulf islands, it was drawing us in and while we loved some of the places we saw, this was it. 
So we started looking for a place.  Our real estate agent said that he was sorry that there were so few places on the market as our island had just been 'discovered' (this was 2004) and suddenly there were very few properties on the market and they were being snapped up extemely quickly.  In fact one of the places he showed us was bought by the time we got back to the real estate office, so we knew we had to act fast. 
This place was one of the few within our modest budget as we had to pay rent in the city and also pay the mortgage on our new place.  It was a wonderful west coast cabin and had all the functions we needed to use it straight away.  A bathroom (70's lavender is not all that bad) two bedrooms, a deck, a good kitchen with electric range & a basic non-frostfree 'cottage' fridge and the people who owned it would throw in almost everything with the place for the right price.  So we put in a good offer and it was accepted.  After it was officially ours and we got the keys, we opened the door and realized that we could start using it right away without having to buy a thing.  Beds, bedding (preserved in plastic storage containers and in terrific shape) chairs, tables, lamps, dressers, dishes, pots and pans.....everything we needed to start our weekends on the island.  What a wonderful feeling. 
Within six months the value of our place doubled.  Go figure.  The first financially smart thing I have done in my whole life.  Just luck but this time I was following my heart and it paid off in many ways.  We spent many many weekends at our place, taking the ferry on Friday and coming back on Sunday or if we were lucky, Monday.  Spending every long weekend, Easter, Christmas, and vacation at our place.  It began to take shape even though we were not able to just get everything done at once.  We tried to pace it so that we had weekends of rest and other weekends of progress.  I have fond memories of those years.  So many of our friends and family got to join us in the enjoyment of our island getaway. 
As 2012 comes to an end, I find myself thinking back and appreciating how much that little cabin added to our lives, getting us through some of the most difficult challenges of our lives, providing us with perspective that there is more to life than just work and accumulating 'stuff'.  Our place is all about simplicity and how little you really need to live a really meaningful life.   We are improving our place with renovations but we are careful to keep the integrity of our purpose.  To live fully, honouring our need to be close to nature while enjoying the comforts of a cozy home.
 
Hope

Did it!

Well we did it, moved to our island!  After much deliberating and procrastinating, something came up that pushed us over the edge of sanity (or insanity) and made us do it.  In July 2012 we packed up and moved over here full time.  What a great decision.  It means that we live in a renovation for a while but we are ready.  Had to dig out my copy of Under The Tuscan Sun in order to remind myself that others do this and that its ok, things will work out, construction does end.  I am also reading other books like it in order to psych myself into some sense of calmness about it all.  Living in a renovation is difficult, sometimes you feel confused and disorganized in your mind too so every book about adventurous souls like us really helps calm me down.  Something I've realized lately is that I've always read books about people who chuck it all for what really matters to them, long before we ever planned this project.  It seems to have been a running theme in my life and now I'm actually living it.  When I started my vicarious adventures my real life was determined by my husband's (now ex) career and where he was sent to work.  Although there was a lot of adventure in that too, I got to see so much of the world even living in two other countries (I am truly grateful), there was no aspect of setting down roots and making the place your own.  That's what I was missing and now have.  I've had the best of both worlds, lots of rootless adventure and now building a life and creating something unique. 
Sooooo we still have to put in the floors and finish off the windows and inside doors, that would just about do it.  The kitchen is done and is absolutely wonderful.  Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of all we have done because we are so focused on what is left to do. 
We both still commute to the city but we're both working on making work on the island for ourselves so we don't have to.  Truthfully so far I enjoy going back and forth, I get my shopping done, see people, familiar faces and rhythms at work so its not all bad.  Riding the ferries isn't so bad either, I see a lot of the same people who I guess have been doing what we're doing forever.  Its turning out to be a gradual transition, one that we are kind of enjoying. 
Went to the Island Christmas Bazaar this weekend, and it was lovely.  Again just so amazed at the wonderfully creative, intelligent people who live on this island.  The arts and crafts were just beautiful and we particularly enjoy the food...smoked cheese, goat cheese, home baked goodies and the best chutney I've ever tasted...pear chutney.  Also home made soaps and potions, gorgeous quilts, woodworking, so much talent and work.  We so loved it and this year we had an eye for what we could do ourselves at  the next market. 
Went for a long winter walk today too, dark, rainy sky surrounded by tall tall Pacific Northwest trees that I love so much.  There's is something about this part of the world that feels like home to me even though I grew up on the East Coast.  As much as I love it there, this is where I belong. 
Celebrating the birthday of a passed on loved one today, Happy Birthday Tom.  See you after I finish this wonderful life. 
 
Hope

Winter

There's something about winter on the island, its like time stops, in a good way.  I find myself much more aware of the season when I'm closer to nature.  In the city you look out the window to decide what to wear, what the road conditions will be like for the day and that's seems to be about it for thinking about the weather.  On the island I am so aware of what month, the amount of light, the plant life and what's going on with the trees etc. 
Years ago when I was grieving deeply I found the island such a comfort especially in winter, it mirrored my mood but also gave me a sense of the transient nature of life, something that we are in denial about most of the time.  Right after the funeral we went up to Tofino for a few days and there especially I truly felt in communion with nature, life and death, especially the precariousness of life and how we must life each day as if it were our last.  I'm really ready to do that now...sometimes my worry about the future especially financially (now that I'm near retirement age) gets in the way of that.  I must not let it.  Too many times I have seen people who put off what they really want until they can afford it and miss out on right now and then its too late.  Something happens and everything changes.  The balance between living in the now and being practical about plans....that is the issue. 
I've recently decided to tap into retirement savings to move forward with our plans of moving....I just can't wait any more.  It feels right even though my financial advisor won't agree with me.  Once we're settled in our new home, I just know that opportunities will open up because we're happier and living the life we want to be living.  It just makes sense.  It wasn't the way we planned it but things changed and now it seems more urgent. 
That sense of urgency seems to be trying to tell me something.  I have to listen and go with my gut on this one.  I have this crazy confidence that it is the right thing to do.  Our new life is waiting.

Taking Charge

Just read an article in the Globe and Mail about managing your own investments and how the financial advisors usually have their own or their institutions interests uppermost in their minds while dealing with their customers.  Makes sense.  I have already opened up a brokerage account and managed some of my money and I really like it.  The rest is managed by an advisor at my credit union.  It has done quite well but I really like having control over my money and I don't understand some of the funds in my managed account. It's all based on trust.  It makes me wonder about whether I should put all my money into my brokerage account.  Mmmmmm.
Plans have excelerated due to circumstances.  We must move into our unfinished house due to employment issues so we will probably be doing so in the new year sometime.  A little scary but it feels so right, only one set of bills to pay! Yay!  Living in construction is no fun but it beats getting behind every month.  It's time to live within our means.  We will finally have enough to live the life we want to live.  I'm so looking forward to that.  Funny how you have a plan then suddenly something changes and you have to go with a new plan.
Last time we were on our island I had my eyes more open to the feeling of what it will be like to live there full time.  I noticed all the people with cottage industries that bring in some extra money and how people don't shop for entertainment generally.  The focus is on friends, going for walks on the beach, hikes, volunteering and participating in island activities that are usually not too expensive.  I have a feeling that we are going to be very happy there.

balance

I've been thinking so much, as all of us have lately, about the people of Japan and what they are going through.  More than ever before I'm convinced that living as much in the now as possible is the only way to live.  Life can be over in a moment, you have to be able to leave this world feeling that you've lived the way you wanted to live.  When I watch the tv coverage of the events I am struck, as many people were, at how the people of Japan are handling the crisis.  They are caring for each other and helping out calming and with determination as well as grieving the loss, a combination of moving forward while acknowledging what happened.  During a time of crisis we see the values of a culture, obviously Japanese culture has a strong value of caring for each other and creating order so that life can remain as stable as possible.  This is just my perception, I have not spent time there.  I am in awe of their strength and courage through this.  We can learn a lot.  Instead of turning on each other and taking advantage of the situation (ie: looting and violence) they help each other out.  It makes me realize how crazy our North American culture has become.  We've lost some very important values that out ancestors had.  I think this very thing is what this blog is all about, trying to create some kind of beauty in my existance while dealing with the realities of everyday life.  We can get lost in one or the other, it's all about balance.  I really hope people will take away from this a sense of reassessing the things in life that really matter and maybe make some changes in the way they live their lives.  I know I will.

winter

Boy I've found this winter difficult.  Don't know why but its been hard slogging through my days.  I also haven't been good at making a point of amusing myself as much as I usually do.  We haven't been going to restaurants much or over to our island as much as usual, I think this has contributed.  Late in winter I always notice my concentration starts to go too, like I need a different kind of stimulation.  My usual winter movie watching and favourite tv shows are not holding my interest.  Must remember this for next year.  Been thinking with the Canadian dollar so high I should go to the US and buy some groceries.  We live so close and its fun to see all the different things you can buy.  My favourite isTrader Joe's .  There is one close to the border in Bellingham but I actually haven't been to that one yet.  I've gone to the one in Seattle and marveled at the cool stuff and cheap too.  I bought french triple milled soap for about 3 buck, usually that stuff is 7-10.  Hard to believe but true.  Lots of cool interesting food too.  If you stay long enough they have wine that people call two buck chuck, some kind of inexpensive red wine for those non-special occasions.  Anyway I may even do that today.  It's rainy and I don't have to work.  Just have to make sure I have health insurance before I go, don't want any crazy medical bills right now.  
Have been watching that British show 'The Islands of Britain'  hosted by Martin Clunes, its on Knowledge Network here in BC.  It's confirmed everything I've started to believe about islands.  They are full of interesting people.  I wonder why that is.  There's such a great pride and sense of identity that they have from living on their particular island.  It's a great show and amazing to see how some people have managed to make do with what they have, be so resourceful in making a living for themselves.  I now understand more what draws me.  I want that in my life too.  That sense of purpose and belonging.  I've lived in so many places since my early 20's that I've never had that and in the city, although there's much I love about it, I haven't really felt a part of it.  I guess I'm finally looking for a place I can really call home and feel connected to.   I do already really feel connected to the west coast even though I was raised on the east coast.  Funny how that happens.  When I first lived in Alaska it happened, I instantly loved it, the mountains, the free spirit of the people, the ocean ....all of it. So now its just finding the right community.  I've found it and I'm on my way but sometimes I get impatient.  Especially in winter.  
Anyway, I think I'm going to run off to the US for the day.  I'll post what my adventure brings.