Goals

Soooooooo, last night I started reading Barbara Sher's book Wishcraft  which has become a standard in the field of career counselling.  Even the guy who wrote What Colour is Your Parachute had good things to say about it.  I'm only on the first chapter but I'm going to take my time and make sure I do it thoroughly and with lots of thought.  We both need to re-evaluate everything and find a way to change our lives for the better.  We already have made great strides by moving to the island in the first place, we have already succeeded in having the lifestyle we want, now to streamline it so that we can sustain it with work we love and make enough to live well.  Neither of us is really very materialistic, we cook a lot at home, we enjoy the simple things, the quiet life. 
Anyway the first part of the book has two exercises, 1. Who do you think you are?  and 2. Remember your original self.  She asks the reader to write down who you are, then crumple up the paper and throw it out, then write down your memories of what you loved to see, hear, do as a child growing up, no editing, just remembering.  This exercise helps to dissolve the limiting box of thoughts about how we should be and opens us up to possibility.  How many of us have completely forgotten about our hope and dreams of our youth?  How many of us completely negate the hobbies, interests, talents that we have but don't think of them as important in the grand scheme of things.  We tend to limit ourselves to what actions have moved us forward in a career.
I've always loved those stories of people who have a talent that they end up pursuing later in life and finding that it brings them a prosperity they never dreamed of.  The book Under the Tuscan Sun is one of them, not the movie, the book.  The book was written by a university literature professor ( Frances Mayes) who, in mid-life, was unexpectedly divorced.   She went to Italy and bought a run-down villa, wrote about it and created a best selling book, a movie was made about it and it brought her a life that was never imagined in her wildest dreams.  Another story I saw on the wonderful tv show called Recreating Eden about a man called Barrie Strohman who retired from his job as a contractor and began cultivating lilies on his property.  He became one of the most well-know lily experts in the world! 
There are so many stories like this, they are so inspirational.  I do not expect to become famous or rich but only to enjoy life and have a right livelihood which is: as Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh wrote,"To practice Right Livelihood (samyag ajiva), you have to find a way to earn your living without transgressing your ideals of love and compassion. The way you support yourself can be an expression of your deepest self, or it can be a source of suffering for you and others. "
So I will journal my progress as well as other day to day events.
Today we planned to go to Victoria shopping but it was too windy so we decided not to take the chance of ferry cancellations and postponed until tomorrow maybe.


Hope

Gratitude

A short post about how today's news has completely changed my concerns about my own small problems....how many families are going to spend Christmas and the rest of their lives without their loved ones.  As a person who has experienced personal tragedy myself, I grieve for them and hold my loved ones closer.
We must treasure every day.

Hope

Changes

Well, this is a bump in the road.  PJ just found out he is probably going to be out of work for about 2 months or so after Christmas.  Wow.  Just taking in the news and wondering what to do about it.  I am a believer in  staying positive and hopeful during times like this, although I know its hard, and if you manage to stay in a good state of mind you are far more likely to make it through unscathed and maybe even end up in a better place. 
A career counsellor told me recently that at a time like this you have to stop restricting your thinking to what you think needs to happen, you should open up your mind, brainstorm and not limit yourself to anything. 
I think that's what we should spend the weekend doing.  Making mental maps, otherwise known as mind mapping to figure out where we should go from here.  It's scary and exciting at the same time.  This could be the beginning of something really interesting for us. 
There's a book called What Colour is Your Parachute?  that I read years ago and need to read again, for both of us.  I love my job now but with our new style and place of living, things really do need to change.  I knew it before but now I have to face it head on. 
I'll probably share a lot of the learning right here on this blog as a way to process and who knows, help somebody else. 


So to begin:
I will be open to whatever happens
I will be grateful for what I already have and what I have accomplished
I will remain hopeful and confident
I will stay connected with people and situations that encourage hope and confidence.  Positive people.
I will gain clarity and focus, then act
I will do something every day to pursue my goals
I will visualize success in all areas of my life
I will choose to make this process one of ease, grace and simplicity
I will explore every option

There, that's the beginning, I feel better already.  I find another thing that helps me is reading about people who have overcome huge obstacles and about people who have accomplished wonderful things that they can be so proud of after their work is done on this earth.  I will read more of these stories too.


Hope

Christmas

Back in the city once again, ferry ride a little bumpy this time, some whitecaps out there.  The Santa ship was fanatastic, much more than I expected. 

Santa and Mrs Claus and the entourage of singers and Christmas Pirates got off the ship and entertained everyone especially the children who got to sit on Santa's knee and got a present to take home.  Everyone was in such great spirits.  I am more impressed with this island all the time.  Considering the small population of full time residents, they have amazing community events such as this one.  I will be attending and posting pictures of the annual new year's eve lantern festival which is even more amazing. 
Our plan this weekend is to sail over to the Victoria to do some Christmas shopping and just enjoy the beautiful decorations that Victoria always manages to do.  What a gorgeous city.  I am so looking forward to it.  This years Christmas gift for me is a yearly membership to the Butchart Gardens.  They are so beautiful and how wonderful to be able to go any time though the year.  Victoria is actually closer than Vancouver for us so we will be able to visit the gardens often. 
Went for lunch at a new Thai place, it was really great, curried tofu and vegetables.  I have to get my ritual city food.  At home in our new kitchen we tend to cook everything ourselves, we love it and our new kitchen is just amazing.  We have one of those stoves that is sort of industrial style, lots of heat and looks great, stainless of course.  Bought it at costco for a fraction of what it would be anywhere else.   This Thursday its our annual shortbread making day, I made mustard pickles last weekend.  I have been craving them and no one makes them the way I like them.  Really good.  We have been using a special shortbread mold pan the last few years, really like it, it's pattern is the thistle.  How Scottish.
When I get home this time it will be time to clear out more of the construction mess and make room for our time off.  It's so much harder to do this when its cold and rainy outside but I must.  It's getting me down and looks so terrible.  Even an organized mess is better.  PJ wants to start the seat/storage area in the entry.  Where to put his tools?!  ARGGG!!
It will be so good when we're done.  Imagine......

Hope

Back Home

Back home on the island once again, ferry ride last night was nice and peaceful as usual and a good way to transition into 'island time', islanders like to say that they keep the ferry run long enough to allow the city dwellers to shake off the stress so they won't bring it on the island.  Works for me and now I do find traffic and the buzz of the city a bit overwhelming at times.  After two days I'm ready to come back beleive it or not. 
The sushi was amazing!  They are quite a creative bunch in the kitchen although they have great standard stuff as well.  It was a new place that has just been discovered, inexpensive and fantastic.  That's one thing we do miss is the ethnic restaurants.  The restaurants on the island are good too but nothing compares to city ethnic holes in the wall that we love so much and lived so close to.  In our neighbourhood alone there was: Philippine, Chinese, Indian, Indian-Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Greek and more all within just a walk or a short drive and none very expensive.  We loved loved loved that about our neighbourhood.
Just packed up the christmas box going to family on the east coast.  Going to cost way too much of course, but I just have to include my own personal shortbread and so many other small details that it ends up being a big production.  All worth it when they open it and are delighted with the small special items.
Also went to my first official appointment with my health care practitioner here, transferred my chart but its not there yet.  They ordered blood tests and called a few hours later to schedule a follow up appointment.  I immediately thought - oh oh.  But I waited until the appointment to find out what was going on, turns out, nothing!  They are just that fast!  Wow, I'm liking this rural thing already.  At home it would be hours out of my day, a 6-10 buck parking fee and having to call back myself to find out the results.  This is so great.  I feel like I actually matter and have people who take care of my health.  I love it.
We're currently deliberating over our Christmas plans.  This year is different, we would love to just stay here and keep it low key but there are family members to consider.  As much as we love getting together, it seems there's so much stress to make that one day special that it gets in the way of reason sometimes.  We have to get creative.  I'm calling it Christmas week from now on, give us more leeway.  But I am will totally enjoy having two weeks off this season.
Going to the Santa Ship this weekend, never been before.  Its been a long tradition on the Gulf Islands and the San Juan islands.  Check it out:
Pacific Northwest Santa Ship
I can't wait!

Hope

The City Again!

Back in the city again, staying with a friend as usual and getting ready to go to the office to work.  One thing I do like about being at her place is the orderly environment, there's no construction here!  Have to say I really need that every now and then, nothing to do but write or do whatever I want.  Just focus on life.  Imagine that!  So looking forward to it, but I have to remember to enjoy the process, everyone tells me that, including my father who built a summer house when he was in his 70's.  He's an inspiration as he did a lot of it himself in spite of not being a trained carpenter. 
The one thing I do enjoy about the city/country lifestyle that I have right now is the extreme contrast brings me the benefits of both.  For instance, tonight (city) we are going out for sushi, to a new place that everyone says is fantastic and inexpensive AND is two blocks away from my friends apartment.  Contrast that with yesterday (island), went for a long walk in the woods, kept the woodstove going, finished putting spruce boughs, that were blown down in the wind, around the house for christmas decorations, took some pictures on the beach and worked some more at painting the window in my new office.  Small panes on an restored window, not an easy tasks but looks great now.  Right now I'm hearing buses and traffic go by on her very busy central street in Vancouver, at night we hear sirens, yelling etc but I'm used to it having lived in the city for so many years.  Last night on the island the wind was whooshing through the trees all night, a wonderful sound but we do worry sometimes about a tree falling on our house.  Does happen. 
The best of both worlds would be to have some kind of lofty apartment in the city to crash to work or to play and live mainly on the island.  A good dream but not a possiblilty right now financially.  We have to work hard and focus on our island house and finish it.  One thing at a time.  OK to dream though isn't it?
I feel very fortunate to have the life I have.  Sometimes I deal with guilt arising from feeling that I'm not working hard enough, or making enough money.  This comes from my upbringing and the North American culture we live in.  I have had the advantage of living in Europe for 4 years and having travelled a lot in my life so I am very aware of how many people put life first, work next.  I still deal with guilt when I am not producing enough.  Funny isn't it.  The irony is that if I worked harder,  our place would be done faster and would be nicer maybe, but I would not have time to enjoy it as much.  I'd be tied to the schedule of 9-5 and be stressed about workplace politics.  I work on contract now, so I make my schedule, come and go as I please with some limitations but as long as I'm doing my job well my bosses don't bother me.  I could do this forever, I think I might actually. 
Interesting to ponder the differences in the city lifestyle vs the island lifestyle.  Both are great in their own way, it just comes down to what 'fits' for you.  So far I'm liking having both. 

Hope

Sunday

Sitting by the woodstove, cat curled up beside me enjoying that I don't have to work tomorrow.  I do have to go into the city on Tuesday to work but it is glorious to have Monday to do more of what I want to do.  Spent the weekend on ....guess what....renovations!!!!  My partner PJ is a carpenter, thank the lord, otherwise we would not be doing this.  He works so hard during the week and then more on the weekend, he's such a good man. 
This whole thing about moving to the island was his idea, he has strong connections to this island and has for many, many years so when we got together and decided to buy a place, he of course wanted to buy here.  I, on the other hand, was not entirely convinced as I am not from this coast, as I mentioned I am from the east coast, so I wanted to look around a little first.  So we began our assignment by going to many wonderful places (Northern Vancouver Island, the Sunshine coast of BC) to look for a place to buy that wasn't too expensive and offered an environment where we thought we would like to settle.  Both of us kept coming back to the gulf islands, it was drawing us in and while we loved some of the places we saw, this was it. 
So we started looking for a place.  Our real estate agent said that he was sorry that there were so few places on the market as our island had just been 'discovered' (this was 2004) and suddenly there were very few properties on the market and they were being snapped up extemely quickly.  In fact one of the places he showed us was bought by the time we got back to the real estate office, so we knew we had to act fast. 
This place was one of the few within our modest budget as we had to pay rent in the city and also pay the mortgage on our new place.  It was a wonderful west coast cabin and had all the functions we needed to use it straight away.  A bathroom (70's lavender is not all that bad) two bedrooms, a deck, a good kitchen with electric range & a basic non-frostfree 'cottage' fridge and the people who owned it would throw in almost everything with the place for the right price.  So we put in a good offer and it was accepted.  After it was officially ours and we got the keys, we opened the door and realized that we could start using it right away without having to buy a thing.  Beds, bedding (preserved in plastic storage containers and in terrific shape) chairs, tables, lamps, dressers, dishes, pots and pans.....everything we needed to start our weekends on the island.  What a wonderful feeling. 
Within six months the value of our place doubled.  Go figure.  The first financially smart thing I have done in my whole life.  Just luck but this time I was following my heart and it paid off in many ways.  We spent many many weekends at our place, taking the ferry on Friday and coming back on Sunday or if we were lucky, Monday.  Spending every long weekend, Easter, Christmas, and vacation at our place.  It began to take shape even though we were not able to just get everything done at once.  We tried to pace it so that we had weekends of rest and other weekends of progress.  I have fond memories of those years.  So many of our friends and family got to join us in the enjoyment of our island getaway. 
As 2012 comes to an end, I find myself thinking back and appreciating how much that little cabin added to our lives, getting us through some of the most difficult challenges of our lives, providing us with perspective that there is more to life than just work and accumulating 'stuff'.  Our place is all about simplicity and how little you really need to live a really meaningful life.   We are improving our place with renovations but we are careful to keep the integrity of our purpose.  To live fully, honouring our need to be close to nature while enjoying the comforts of a cozy home.
 
Hope

Did it!

Well we did it, moved to our island!  After much deliberating and procrastinating, something came up that pushed us over the edge of sanity (or insanity) and made us do it.  In July 2012 we packed up and moved over here full time.  What a great decision.  It means that we live in a renovation for a while but we are ready.  Had to dig out my copy of Under The Tuscan Sun in order to remind myself that others do this and that its ok, things will work out, construction does end.  I am also reading other books like it in order to psych myself into some sense of calmness about it all.  Living in a renovation is difficult, sometimes you feel confused and disorganized in your mind too so every book about adventurous souls like us really helps calm me down.  Something I've realized lately is that I've always read books about people who chuck it all for what really matters to them, long before we ever planned this project.  It seems to have been a running theme in my life and now I'm actually living it.  When I started my vicarious adventures my real life was determined by my husband's (now ex) career and where he was sent to work.  Although there was a lot of adventure in that too, I got to see so much of the world even living in two other countries (I am truly grateful), there was no aspect of setting down roots and making the place your own.  That's what I was missing and now have.  I've had the best of both worlds, lots of rootless adventure and now building a life and creating something unique. 
Sooooo we still have to put in the floors and finish off the windows and inside doors, that would just about do it.  The kitchen is done and is absolutely wonderful.  Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of all we have done because we are so focused on what is left to do. 
We both still commute to the city but we're both working on making work on the island for ourselves so we don't have to.  Truthfully so far I enjoy going back and forth, I get my shopping done, see people, familiar faces and rhythms at work so its not all bad.  Riding the ferries isn't so bad either, I see a lot of the same people who I guess have been doing what we're doing forever.  Its turning out to be a gradual transition, one that we are kind of enjoying. 
Went to the Island Christmas Bazaar this weekend, and it was lovely.  Again just so amazed at the wonderfully creative, intelligent people who live on this island.  The arts and crafts were just beautiful and we particularly enjoy the food...smoked cheese, goat cheese, home baked goodies and the best chutney I've ever tasted...pear chutney.  Also home made soaps and potions, gorgeous quilts, woodworking, so much talent and work.  We so loved it and this year we had an eye for what we could do ourselves at  the next market. 
Went for a long winter walk today too, dark, rainy sky surrounded by tall tall Pacific Northwest trees that I love so much.  There's is something about this part of the world that feels like home to me even though I grew up on the East Coast.  As much as I love it there, this is where I belong. 
Celebrating the birthday of a passed on loved one today, Happy Birthday Tom.  See you after I finish this wonderful life. 
 
Hope