There's something about winter on the island, its like time stops, in a good way. I find myself much more aware of the season when I'm closer to nature. In the city you look out the window to decide what to wear, what the road conditions will be like for the day and that's seems to be about it for thinking about the weather. On the island I am so aware of what month, the amount of light, the plant life and what's going on with the trees etc.
Years ago when I was grieving deeply I found the island such a comfort especially in winter, it mirrored my mood but also gave me a sense of the transient nature of life, something that we are in denial about most of the time. Right after the funeral we went up to Tofino for a few days and there especially I truly felt in communion with nature, life and death, especially the precariousness of life and how we must life each day as if it were our last. I'm really ready to do that now...sometimes my worry about the future especially financially (now that I'm near retirement age) gets in the way of that. I must not let it. Too many times I have seen people who put off what they really want until they can afford it and miss out on right now and then its too late. Something happens and everything changes. The balance between living in the now and being practical about plans....that is the issue.
I've recently decided to tap into retirement savings to move forward with our plans of moving....I just can't wait any more. It feels right even though my financial advisor won't agree with me. Once we're settled in our new home, I just know that opportunities will open up because we're happier and living the life we want to be living. It just makes sense. It wasn't the way we planned it but things changed and now it seems more urgent.
That sense of urgency seems to be trying to tell me something. I have to listen and go with my gut on this one. I have this crazy confidence that it is the right thing to do. Our new life is waiting.
